Life is not fair. Yes, I know you know it, but we all keep saying it in hope that we might jinx it or something and maybe something fucking good might happen for once. Murderers get rich while good people get diarrhea. Maybe I should become a murderer, sounds like a lot of fun, and the possibility of becoming rich is always welcome. Diarrhea on the otherhand, sucks ass (although I wouldn't advise anyone to do that with their ass after that kind of an 'attack'). But anyway, you get the point.
Life is ironic and evil. Things like meeting the girl of your dreams occur, only for life, in it's fantastic way of fucking things up for you, tells you she's going to get married to someone else, but likes you just enough to keep you around as her friend and therefore making you endure the pain of seeing her everyday with some other fuckwit. It's so deliciously sadistic, it almost makes you want to cry chocolatey tears of agony.
Life kicks you in the balls while you're down. Well, actually, I have no metaphorical example for this, just a guy called Dennis Life managed to put his foot through my crotch in a football game a couple of years ago. But the point stands, 'life' will probably do this to you metaphorically as well.
Life is gay. And not just normally gay, but Big Gay Al 'I want to be done by a bunch of sailors' from South Park gay. It will 'do' you at every opportunity it gets, and force you to wear pink shirts and flowery shorts(or vice versa), therefore destroying any semblance of manhood you may or may not have possessed prior to the incident. Castration of the mind, it's just wrong.
So there you go, those are the good points about life. But to end on a high note, I must say this: Having a cute cat named Fluffles (or Fluffers, can't remember which sometimes) helps a bit. It stops me from wanting to commit suicide by watching a Telettuby marathon. Ah, great stuff. See ya later...
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